Skip navigation! Story from Sex. Radhika Rajkumar. There are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be trans, especially when it comes to sex. Between the negative stereotypes and the complete lack of information out there about trans bodies, it can be hard for trans people to find the resources that a lot of cisgender people aka people who aren't trans take for granted. Of course, sex can be a vulnerable topic shrouded in taboo, no matter your gender. But it can be even trickier terrain for trans people, due to the stigma surrounding gender identities that don't match up with the sex on people's birth certificates. Add to that the fact that not all trans people choose to take hormones or undergo gender-affirming surgeries , and you have a society full of misconceptions about what it means to have sex when you're not cisgender. All of this, unfortunately, can leave trans and other gender non-conforming people ill-equipped to navigate the world of sexual pleasure.
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Instead, I want to point out that, contrary to popular belief, trans women do value singlehood just as much as the men attracted to us. Acknowledging that truth within myself has helped me better understand trans-attracted men. One would think this newfound knowledge would make it easier for me to pursue healthy sexual encounters with men. While a solid demographic of men appreciates my alpha nature, those same men have sometimes made things awkward. So, here are a few tips to help cis-hetero men successfully navigate casual sex with trans women—so that all can benefit from the pleasures in waiting of mutual attraction. It also varies from partner to partner; this is true of all sexual relations between partners of all sexual and gender identities. Relax and give yourself permission to figure it out together. The objective is to have fun—and to feel comfortable doing so.
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Many will remember the moment back in January when actress Laverne Cox schooled Katie Couric, after Couric ask an invasive question about her body. We experience discrimination disproportionately to the rest of the community. Our unemployment rate is twice the national average [. For the most part, people have respected that request. But according to my friend Nomi Ruiz, this has inadvertently created a taboo in the trans community: Nobody talks about sex. Nomi is a transgender singer and host of the podcast Allegedly NYC. But I do know well that, when dealing with sexuality or any other sensitive topic, it is generally useful to hear the stories of people with experiences similar to your own, because it helps you to better understand your own experience and your own body. It helps you to not feel so fucking alone, basically. Has the cultural conversation around trans culture progressed enough?
It was a. He was taking me home from the party we had met at. He was gorgeous. Eastern European, solid and muscular in a way that comes from work, not the gym. He works seven nights a week and never has a chance to meet girls, he told me. It was an opening and I knew it. I put my hand on his arm with a compassionate touch, but with that barrier broken, I could feel the charge run through him. He soon pulled over into a parking lot and we started making out, our hands reaching across the front seats to explore each others bodies. When he pulled my skirt up and ran his hands along my thighs, my heart pounded.
